Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
