I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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