the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Randomize
