Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
This is the high leading the old right now
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
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