I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize