In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
