My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
