I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
