She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
