12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Randomize