Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
