god I wish I could record you sometimes, you're so neurotic
and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
