Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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