Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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