she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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