Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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