He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You were face down in the punch bowl, humming the theme to jaws
That explains the stains on my shirt
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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