you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
