Midget sex pt 2 tonight
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Randomize
