I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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