Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Randomize
