My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
