Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize
