Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I could see myself reflected in his wedding band as i was going down on him.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
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