We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
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