Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
Randomize
