epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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