if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
and she was petting her beer can
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
