Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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