she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
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