yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize
