gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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