I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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