btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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