Pregnant stripper...not hot.
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
