I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
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