I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Randomize
