She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
