so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
