I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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