R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
