My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
