Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i just google imaged poop.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
