Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Well the grass always *looks* greener on the other side but sometimes that’s bc there’s a sewage runoff...
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