i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
