We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
