I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
