and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Randomize
