I wish I could teleport
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Randomize
