Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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