He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
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