will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
