Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
