I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
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