Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
Randomize
