you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
The power of my boobs compel you
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
Randomize
