Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
