So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
