idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Current status: so high that I'm unable to have coherent conversation with my mom, but still knew that when my dad said "shpritzy white stuff" I understood that he was trying to think of "whipped cream."
That text took me 10 minutes.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
