Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
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