I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I don't deserve a penis
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
