just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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