You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Randomize