All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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