You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Randomize
