I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
