I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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