Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Randomize
