Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
Why do I have peacock feathers super glued to my body?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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