The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
