We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
Maybe he injected his testicle?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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