I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
