I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Omg one side of my Labia is asleep. Has that ever happened to you?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
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