So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
