If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
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