Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize